Way Back

I am not about me, but about those around me. I'm about those I love and who love me. I enjoy solitude and am comfortable with my own self. I admit, though, that my best memories involve other people. In this photograph, I don't think I have any memories. Probably no thoughts at all. I'm happy though. I'm with someone who loves me. At the moment this photo was taken, I only knew that I was fed and dry and that I was held securely and safely. I knew nothing about days to come.

I'd like to share a video with you. It's about my dad. http://www.logcabinstudios.tv/flash%20Video/ATA_Highlight.html

Even now, I don't know what lies ahead. I'm blindly content. I'm okay with that. I'm good at living in the moment. Sometimes it causes me to march in place. I sit down at the computer, determined to maintain the needed discipline to get my editing done. The phone rings and pulls me out of my frame of mind. It's another videographer. We talk for a few minutes. The other videographer is feeling isolated and just wants to hear the sound of a human being's voice. I know that feeling, so I don't fuss. When at last I hang up, I'm ready for a glass of water, so I head down to the kitchen. On the way, I notice that the bed is unmade or the cats need water. One thing leads to another and I find myself sitting back down to work at 2:00. The day is half gone. I enjoy whatever I'm doing at the moment to the point that I think I'm doomed to accomplish little. I'll tell you though - making videos is awesome. You think up an idea in your head, film it, edit it, and watch your vision come to life. If that's even a billionith of what it must have been like when God created the world, Wow! - He must have loved it. He had a vision and he made it happen. Creativity is the great. We probably all think he's done with his creating. I think we're a work in progress though. What do you think?

So. If you've never met me before and you're just passing through - leave a note. If you have met me - leave a note. It's been a long dry spell since anybody's left me a note. My cup of creativity is bone dry. Help me fill it up by dropping me a line.

Shelley

Lots of changes since 2007

Can it be true that I haven't written since 2007? I guess it must be. It was back when I still had InfiniVision Productions. I hadn't even checked out this blog since then. I was disappointed to see that no one had commented or added to the blog in all that time. I have a blog called Sisters Today and no one has commented on that one either. It's time to do something to change that. I would love to hear from people.

In August of 2008, I gave in and took part time work for Roy's company. He said Julie was struggling to keep up with the workload and asked for help. I volunteered to help. Part time. How bad could that be? I'd be able to work from home and still do my video work full time. Working from home was more difficult than I thought it would be. There were a lot of people needing to talk to me and they seemed to need me to be there in the office. I struggled along, not really sure of the big picture - just sort of muddling through everything. Working there and editing here started wearing me down. At Christmas I took two weeks off from everything and spent it with family. It was an amazing time. When I went back to my part time job, I was VERY behind and even more confused about what I was really supposed to be doing. I think I put in over 30 hours a week those next two weeks. That's about the time when Julie was told that she would have to be put to part time. She was making quite a few mistakes and the customers were unhappy about that. Roy asked me if I'd take over. Go full time. Wow. That was a leap. Going from editing full time to doing financial analysis full time. What if I made a lot of mistakes, too. What if the work was just too much for me. I agreed to give it a try and I'm still on the job. It's March now. I think I'm finally starting to get the hang of it. Julie is working part time - doing the work I'd been doing since August. We pretty much switched places. This week, we'll probably switch offices as well. The busy of the time will be over and there will be time to move. I am happy where I am, but I can't fit all the files I need in my little space. Julie has all the files in her office and will need less with her new work, so could easily fit in to my cozy little space. She's pretty unhappy with the way things have turned out. I feel bad for her. She tries so hard. I'm trying pretty hard myself.

So instead of working from home, which I thought would be my life from now on, I'm working at a full time job again. It was kind of inevitable. I thought God wanted me to trust him and I was trying. Even with me working at home, we were actually able to pay our bills - though barely. I didn't succeed in relying on God the way he wants me to. I worried. I worried about paying the bills. I worried about losing the house. I worried about the future. I worried about keeping my business going. My equipment was getting worn out and I couldn't get it repaired. I couldn't always buy supplies for the business - blank tapes, blank DVDs, stuff like that. Things seemed to be spiralling out of control. But I was home. I love being at home.

I do admit though that if I have to work at a job outside the home, the work I'm doing at Roy's office is a good fit for me. It's challenging. It has sameness and yet new things added in from time to time. It does feel very good to know that we can pay our bills and keep the house. The cabin feels more like home now that the insecurity is gone.

I didn't give up entirely on my video busines though. I asked Sarah to become my partner. She left her night job to do that. It has been wonderful. She's doing even better than I was. Editing and filming for five years without pay really got depressing. Sarah is getting a good salary and so she can stay motivated to do the work better than I was able to do. I'm proud of her for being my partner. I love it. It's a dream come true. There's no one I'd rather have as my partner in this business. Roy and Kevin are so helpful, too. It's really great.

Racing season starts this week. We're having a TV series this year on the local cable channel. The first episode is Thursday. We're still getting sponsors, but that's coming along nicely.

Ah, well. So my life has changed a lot since 2007. I'm happy. I'm learning to relax.
Roy is up at Dan and Katie's this weekend. I miss him, but am trying to use the time to get a lot done here. I moved the big computer to the other side of the room, so I could hook it up to the printers and scanners. Took a while, but all is done.

Well, enough is enough, I suppose. No one is going to read this anyways. Its kind of an online journal since I'm the only one reading it. I enjoy going back and reading past posts though.

Hey! Have a fantastic Saturday!